The Million Martini March

Larry tells how to hide 20 bottles of Jameson’s behind a quart of milk and a sheepish grin. Then we hear about how in marriage math, one hour can equal TWO POINT EIGHT HOURS!

Also, in this incredibly historic episode, we launch the Larry Miller Drinking Society Museum of Glad Tidings and the Larry Miller Drinking Society’s Million Martini March! Some day, you’ll tell your Grandkids where you were when you heard about this. We also get a visit from the joke of the week!

Quote of the week: “There are weddings in Dublin that don’t have that much Jameson’s.”

This Week With Larry Miller is also now available through the FREE Adam Carolla app, available from the Android marketplace and iTunes app store.

Get your very own Larry Miller Drinking Society card by sending a stamped self-addressed envelope to:

    Larry Miller Drinking Society
    c/o ACE Broadcasting
    10061 Riverside Dr. #276
    Toluca Lake, CA 91602 USA

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Or follow Larry on Twitter @larryjmiller

Show Credits

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana, LMDS



18 Responses to “The Million Martini March”

  1. industrial waste
    2011/12/07 at 6:37 am #

    What does a bottle of Jameson cost in Cali?? BTW The reason that you see few bald homeless guys is that balding guys are more evolved…

  2. Another Larry
    2011/12/08 at 3:35 pm #

    Million Martini slogan “Come for the gin. Stay for the olives.”

  3. Paul
    2011/12/08 at 7:59 pm #

    Big fan of the podcast! Im at artist at Disney Imagineering and I always get a kick out of your podcast.

    Here’s a funny thing…when I listened to Larry on Adam’s podcast doing the hypothetical road trip going from LA to the Epcot center I would think to myself, “Wow, that would be a fun road trip.” Months later I graduated from Art school in Pasadena and quickly got a job out on the East coast with Imagineering in Orlando and took that very road trip, from LA to Epcot, and I did it with the best person I could have ever gone with, my girlfriend of five years.

    Great podcast. Keep bringing the laughs!

  4. Dan Mathewson
    2011/12/09 at 2:46 pm #

    For the Million Man slogan why not use the LMDS slogan?

  5. Jeff Brawer
    2011/12/10 at 2:00 pm #

    “Saving the world, one olive at a time.”

  6. Willy
    2011/12/11 at 6:39 am #

    Merthmaker Larry Miller…nuff said.

  7. Professor Hans Von Puppet
    2011/12/11 at 6:30 pm #


    Here’s a slogan for The Million Martini March…Are we there yet?

  8. Cathy
    2011/12/12 at 4:46 pm #

    How long will it be before I receive my LMDS card? Sent a SASE a few months ago. Should I send another?

    • Michael Morrison
      2012/01/05 at 2:13 pm #

      As a current employee of the USPS I can honestly say, “yes”. Cathy, you should send another……

  9. Cape Cod Carolla
    2011/12/12 at 5:12 pm #

    The Larry Miller Show podcast is a gift that gives all year long. Like Larry I cut my drinking teeth in the bucolic New England town of Amherst. Located in the heart of Massachusetts Pioneer Valley the town of Amherst is like being in Nebraska…but still less than 3 hours from Boston. And the bars are WONDERFUL! The Million Martini March is a fabulous concept. My motto would be “The Million Martini March….Stumbling to a Town Near You!”

    Scott, Cape Cod, Mass

    • lmcast
      2011/12/13 at 9:08 pm #

      Good one! — JF

  10. Another Larry
    2011/12/13 at 7:02 am #

    ooh…better one for MMM. “Come for the banter. Stay for the gin.”

  11. JohnyVile
    2011/12/13 at 10:04 am #

    MMM slogan, “I don’t know where we’re going but we’re on our way!”

    Stymie, 1932

  12. Iva Freemon
    2011/12/21 at 2:04 am #

    I’m suprised at how many HAD followers are labvbiew developers. I myself write labview code for my job.

  13. John Pote
    2011/12/22 at 11:13 am #

    “Puke on the Bus” and for Laker fans “Puke on the Buss”

  14. Michael Morrison
    2012/01/05 at 2:46 pm #

    Jan. 5, 2012
    Re: Million Martini March

    To whom it may concern:
    I know my slogan for said MARCH is funny because, like your podcasts, it makes me laugh.

    Q: Is your martini glass half empty or half full?
    A: It doesn’t matter! as long as there’s something in it.

    Sincerely – 22.8 guffaws and counting,
    Mr. Morrison, USA

    p.s. In order to gain my Secret Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring….er…Larry Miller Drinking Society Card, I must admit to have taken and failed the LMDS Bar Exam 9 times via an internet school that provides credits applicable to the University of Larry Miller. At 3 bucks a pop~!, mind you, I’ve still not graduated from this supposedly reputable online college that has provided honoured degrees (as their website proclaims) to such ESTEEMED members such as: Dr. Chris Loxemonna[sp!], MAXIMA CUM LAUDE, Jeff-what’s his name, and some guy named Bud, “just a really, really smart guy from Idaho”.


    I am reluctant to consider myself worthy of the prestige.
    Homer is Homer and Pluto is a Planet….only one thing is more true than all of that!

    Thanks Larry and friends. May your New Year be a blessed one!

  15. Ross
    2012/01/26 at 7:54 am #

    Not that I recommend volunteering talk about bodily functions in mixed company, but I have to say, for a mother of boys, your wife is regular hothouse flower. In my family(& all the working class families I grew up with, not to mention the farmer relatives), _I’m_ the one who reacts like that–now that my neice has a kid, I have FOUR generations of women who INITIATE such talk. And during meals at family get-togethers, no less. At one of our irregular(no pun intended) family reunions, she’d have been laughed to scorn as “putting on airs” or “hoity-toity”.

    Oh, and the reason not to give every panhandler you meet money isn’t what they’ll do with it, it’s that a surprising number of them(yes, even some of the ones you’re sure are legit) are professional beggars. They’re not only frauds & con men, but they take what money people could or would give to the truly needy.

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