Larry vs. The Gigantic Slug

The hamper update to end all hamper updates. We know we’ve said it before, but this time, we mean it. Yes, the hamper update takes an unexpected turn that was completely expected. By the time it’s over, Larry is as close to being the Dad from A Christmas Story as he could possibly be.



Larry saves his wife from a bloodthirsty, gigantic slug. And does soap-bar melding float your boat? Then get ready for the RETURN OF THE FIVEFECTA, or “How Larry Got His Soap Mojo Back.”

But wait, there’s more! We award honorary doctorates and Colonel ranks to the first 500,000 listeners who download this episode!

Yes, listen to this week’s This Week With Larry Miller and you’ll be walking in tall cotton. Possibly in a raccoon coat. That’s Dr. Colonel Larry Miller to you, sir.

Quote of the week:

    “Daddy has protected the house once again from all varmints & creatures.”

Get your very own Larry Miller Drinking Society card by sending a stamped self-addressed envelope to:

    Larry Miller Drinking Society
    c/o ACE Broadcasting
    10061 Riverside Dr. #276
    Toluca Lake, CA 91602 USA



Enjoy the show? Tell a friend! And check out www.larrymillerhumor.com

Or follow Larry on Twitter @larryjmiller


Show Credits

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producer: Jeff Fox
Audio Engineer: Chris Laxamana
Web Engineer: Sandy Ganz

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20 Responses to “Larry vs. The Gigantic Slug”

  1. Joey
    2011/10/05 at 1:03 pm #

    HAHAHA – Hamper made out of b-b guns!

  2. Grant Young
    2011/10/05 at 1:30 pm #

    Is there a trick to getting a Larry Miller Drinking Society card? I sent in a S.A.S.E. but neglected to mention that I wanted a card. I also neglected to stuff cash in the envelope. My bartender said he would give me a free drink if I presented my card… which is a lot more than he offered me for my 30 sobriety chip.

    As soon as I sober up a little more I will send in my second request.

    • lmcast
      2011/10/07 at 2:17 pm #

      No need for a request note as such. If an SASE shows up, we’ll put two and two together and know you want a card. But it does take a while for all of the envelopes to get opened, stuffed and sealed, so your patience is tremendously appreciated! — Jeff

  3. LarryE
    2011/10/05 at 3:16 pm #

    A bloodthirsty, gigantic slug? I didn’t know Larry knew my next-door neighbor. (Hardy-har-har — I kill me!)

  4. LarryE
    2011/10/05 at 8:47 pm #

    I thought all along, Larry should buy a white garbage can to use as a hamper. That object would clearly announce, “I’m just temporary, to keep our dirty clothes off the floor until such time as my darling, intelligent, tasteful wife finds the appropriate hamper for permanent use.” Buying an ACTUAL hamper steps all over your wife’s toes and is bound to cause trouble.

  5. LarryE
    2011/10/05 at 8:53 pm #

    I love Larry’s phrase, “the bed and bath joint.” It makes Bed, Bath and Beyond sound like the hangouts or dives called “beer joints” I remember from years ago. A “bed and bath joint” is sort of a generic, corner-tavern type place where you can go in for a slug of home decor and a pickled bologna on your way home from work.

  6. Tyler
    2011/10/06 at 9:32 am #

    Larry, you rule. Dig any movie you’re in, however big or small the part. Rock on sir!

  7. The Offender
    2011/10/06 at 11:02 am #

    RETURN OF THE FIVEFECTA? Sweet.

  8. Howard Tarnoff
    2011/10/07 at 5:31 am #

    Larry

    Wrote you way back comparing you to Jean Shepherd. You were kind to mention me in the Podcast. Now my best friend has started a site out of our love for comedy and you my enjoy taking a look at it called Laughpath.com and I contributed an Ode To Shep and again mentioned you in that piece.
    I think you will enjoy the site.
    Still waiting for your visit to Sapporo so we can go out for a rink or three….

  9. L. E. Whipsnade
    2011/10/07 at 11:47 am #

    You could take the old hamper and the new hamper, moisten them and squeeze them together… oh, never mind.

  10. Terri
    2011/10/07 at 11:54 am #

    Larry,
    I don’t mean to be a smart aleck, but you do realize you can buy a hamper on Amazon? All you have to do (and by the way, how sweet it would be to shop online with your wife at your side) is go to AceLarryMiller.com and click on the Amazon link. From there, type in Hamper in the search box. (Call your kids in to help you with this, if necessary.) You’re probably not going to believe this, but there are over 8,100 hampers listed. They show up, 16 to a page, in all shapes, colors and prices. If you come across a hamper with assorted teas, crumpets and figgy puddings, keep going. (see Fortnum and Mason Tea Emporium. http://www.fortnumandmason.com/c-112-hampers-100-to-200-fortnum-and-mason.aspx)

    But, here’s how you win: at Amazon, if you spend more than $25, you get free shipping! Wow! And if you do buy it on Amazon, it’s like putting money back into your own pocket, even if it is 1/64 of a penny… or you’ll be that much closer to free drinks with Chris and Jeff.

    Best Regards.

    (PS: The spiffy-dressed man and Vietnam vet, from Drake’s Drum is Bret or Brett. Don’t know his last name. But maybe his first name will jog your memory.)

  11. keith
    2011/10/08 at 4:22 am #

    Just bought my Halloween costume on Amazon through this very site….Sad that I am a 44 year old dude and still wearing costumes…

  12. Grant Young
    2011/10/10 at 12:45 pm #

    I always thought a Hamper was someone who lived in the Hamptons.

  13. airhof
    2011/10/11 at 3:11 pm #

    Larry,

    Tahnks for all the great shows. I play you out loud at work and so the other guys at work can hear and get some laughs too.

    • airhof
      2011/10/11 at 3:12 pm #

      Thanks*

  14. Jay
    2011/10/14 at 7:49 am #

    I always get so excited when I hear the hamper update sound effect!!!

  15. Rita
    2011/10/14 at 11:08 am #

    Even though I am not a fan of bar soap (for very good reasons that I will not go into) I am a fan of good story-telling, so, of course, I love your show. I want to share some helpful advice regarding bar soap. It is meant to be cured before use, but modern packaging does not allow for this. When you bring your new soap bars home they should be unwrapped before putting them away so that they can cure, and then they will be harder and last longer. This may improve your soap stacking, increasing your fecta numbers. Good luck and thanks for such a good show.

  16. Denver Home Stager
    2012/03/17 at 6:47 am #

    Regards for helping out, good info. “I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile.” by Goldie Hawn.

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