Broken Toilets, Broken Hearts

Is it dangerous to refill water bottles? It is when you’re doing it in lieu of tending to an emergency in your loo.

The classics all start with a story about an overflowing toilet — The Great Gatsby, Catcher in The Rye, Beowulf, the Fabio autobiography. And now this episode of This Week With Larry Miller.

Find out which soldiers Larry sacrificed to stop the advancing tide in his bathroom and the reasoning behind his choice.

What’s so great about this episode? Well, Larry’s mic stand starts to collapse in the middle of recording and we don’t stop the show or edit it out. Then we hear about what would cause a viking to say, “Now THAT’S disgusting!” (Again with the vikings.)

Inspired by letters from listeners, Larry muses on his own duality and the duality of life itself. We also revisit and expand on the “time well spent” theme. Larry then talks about the inherent stupidity behind evil and how he never watches morning television shows.

Find out what tedious obstacles international listeners are overcoming to get their Larry Miller Drinking Society membership cards.

Then hear about a listener’s TWELVEFECTA! It’s truly a beautiful sight to behold. At once captivating and terrifying, kind of like Miss America with a machine gun — except made of soap.

Quote of the week:

    “We all know something about toilets. You know something about toilets. I know something about toilets. Who doesn’t know about toilets?”

Enjoy the show? Tell a friend! And check out

Or follow Larry on Twitter @larryjmiller

Show Credits

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producer: Jeff Fox
Audio Engineer: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler
Web Engineer: Sandy Ganz

Picture Gallery




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31 Responses to “Broken Toilets, Broken Hearts”

  1. Julie
    2011/03/23 at 6:32 pm #

    Dearest Larry,
    I love your show and you. I’m so happy to hear that Andrea in Tokyo is ok. I have been listening to you for a few months now and spent the weekend catching up on all your podcasts from the beginning. I totally agree with the listener who wrote in saying how great and RARE it is to hear your positivity. I should be paying you for therapy, seriously. Sunday I was lonesome and feeling a little blue but that afternoon I was rolling on the bed crying with laughter over the guy who put his dad’s football helmet on his little brother, then poured aftershave on the helmet, set it ablaze and sent him up to see their mom. Classic! I also lost it over your hooker/mom story, setting Mr. Cooper on fire and many others. “Time well spent” is the WINNER. Brilliant!

    Can you say more about how you feel about comedy? You’ve touched on it a little but I’d love to hear more of your philosophy on the importance of it. I agree with you saying that what you’re doing here isn’t silly but can you say more about that? My only other request is that you make the shows longer. They go too fast!
    Julie in Maryland

    • Mrs. Fuller
      2011/04/03 at 6:16 pm #

      “DITTO” it’s a cheap thing for me not to write about how wonderful I feel while and after listening to This Week with Larry Miller. But Julie said it all so eloquently I’m just going to hook my wagon to her star.
      Thank you everyone at the pod cast and network you make me smile and it’s my best time well spent.

      Kimberly, North of Seattle South of Canada

  2. MikeD
    2011/03/24 at 3:57 am #


    I have to tell you my 4 year old girl can produce bigger poop than a grizzly bear, and my 2 year old girl puts her to shame. I’m not sure how they do it.

    • Barnzo
      2011/03/24 at 7:56 am #

      MikeD, I concur. I’m shocked at times when I discover the ‘suprises’ left by my youngest. (still working on the flushing part).

  3. JessMan
    2011/03/24 at 5:34 am #

    Larry, sounds like your son needs to use less toilet paper.
    P.S. Hi Julie!
    ~Jesse from MD

    2011/03/24 at 8:32 am #

    Yo Larry what’s up with the double collar? Doesn’t that chafe your neck? Also, I got Radioland Murders on DVD. Great movie, don’t understand why it didn’t make a bigger splash.

  5. captain ham
    2011/03/24 at 11:41 am #

    Dude, you’re wearing 2 shirts. Just sayin.’

  6. Ryan
    2011/03/24 at 12:48 pm #

    Another fine episode. Wow, that twelvefecta is a work of art. Recently I had some plumbing problems as my toilet overflowed. My 2 cats just sat on the sink counter and looked at it like ‘Well, yes there’s water flowing but I’m not touching it.’ And $575 later, I have a new tank. Oh well, that deserves a drink…perhaps when I get from work to calm the nerves

  7. matt bolton
    2011/03/24 at 7:28 pm #

    thanks for another great conversation, I look forward to your pod cast every week, still waiting for my drinking club card please keep it up

  8. Dan
    2011/03/25 at 1:35 am #

    hey larry love the podcasts

  9. DanofSac
    2011/03/25 at 4:13 am #

    Larry I really enjoy your weekly podcasts, and I look forward to proudly displaying my LMDS card at my favorite adult beverage establishment! It will be “time well spent” for Jeff to get those off in the mail, eh?

  10. Gerard Durback
    2011/03/25 at 9:37 am #

    Great Show Larry. I actually look forward to my morning drive on Thursday when I can listen to your show after downloading it on Wednesday.

    I agree with you and other viewers about boys “evacuations” My five year old son does me to shame.

    I received my club card. We need some clubhouse or bar in the country where only card caring members can get in.

    Have a great week!

  11. al
    2011/03/25 at 6:07 pm #

    Larry rules

  12. Rod Hunt
    2011/03/25 at 11:21 pm #

    Love the Podcast. Really became a fan of yours after listening to you as a guest on The Adam Carolla Show (can’t get enough of The Hypothetical Roadtrip) The intro music is great by the way. I haven’t missed any of your shows.
    Being a service plumber was sorry to hear about your toilet fiasco (closing the flapper device in the tank would also stop the water from filling) Keep it up with the entertaining topics, also need to hit you up at some point for a LMDS card.

    Thanks for the laughs.

  13. Spike
    2011/03/26 at 9:54 am #

    The way you start one story and then veer off like the branches of a tree, makes me dizzy. Your mind is like a dream you never wake up from. Question: Are you always looking for your keys? I would love to hear a conversation between you and Richard Lewis.

    • a LISTENER
      2011/07/08 at 7:31 pm #

      Perhaps you should try Rick & Bubba. They’re out of Charlotte and have lots of sound effects. Just a thought.

  14. Dan of Oyster Bay, L.I.
    2011/03/26 at 12:34 pm #

    Glad you got back to telling stories.
    Got my LMDS card today. Thanks for taking the time & effort to sign them all.

    Member In Good Standing (I think)
    Dan of Oyster Bay, L.I.

  15. Scott
    2011/03/26 at 5:23 pm #

    I think a better name for the 12-bar soap would be the “dodecafecta.”

    • lmcast
      2011/03/28 at 1:20 pm #

      NICE ONE!

  16. big jim
    2011/03/28 at 4:10 am #

    By the great summit of Olympus, only Apollo possesses the power the lather up and get a good wash out of that twelvefecta!

  17. Hopper
    2011/03/28 at 2:47 pm #

    Listening to the first podcast from arguably the best sports writer around, Sports Illustrated’s Joe Posnanski. The music at the opening? The very same marching-band as our guy Larry! And it STILL brought a smile to my face.

  18. Danny Cox
    2011/03/28 at 10:23 pm #

    Larry, I love listening to your podcast, it’s like listening to my dad tell stories, I love it. Come to the Kansas City area sometime!

  19. big jim
    2011/03/29 at 10:00 am #

    The real quote of the show: “It’s both gorgeous and really scary in way. It looks like a bar of soap from an invading planet.”

  20. Christie
    2011/03/29 at 7:33 pm #

    So enjoy your work!!! Truly worthwhile stuff. Thank you.

  21. Alex
    2011/03/30 at 5:17 pm #

    It is such a breathe of fresh air to listen to a positive, uplifting and to be quite frank, master of humor such as yourself! I can honestly hear that you enjoy recording this as much as I enjoy listening to it. I look forward to it all week. Keep up the great work!

  22. Jim
    2011/03/30 at 6:16 pm #

    I’m @Larryjmiller twitter follower #1743 and am now an official card carrying member of the LMDS. Folks the game is over, I’ve won!

  23. Geoff
    2011/03/31 at 9:52 pm #

    Thanks for reminding me every week that the game is over and we’ve won! Time well spent sir.

  24. defraggler
    2011/04/08 at 2:33 am #

    i love listening to this guy – his mentality is really steady

  25. noco37
    2011/11/20 at 12:18 am #

    Where did the RSS feed go? I would really like a non iTunes option again.

    • noco37
      2011/11/20 at 12:20 am #

      I found it, never mind. Keep up the good work Larry!

  26. Kandis Danks
    2012/09/10 at 5:17 pm #

    Bonjour ! Il s’agit vraiment d’ un article génial, je te félicite de l’avoir écrit. Pour te remercier, voici une ligne pour pouvoir réaliser du card sharing : F: ram1417h ram1417xdds 2 0 0 0:0:1,100:3317 #01/02/2012. C’est gratuit, alors n’hésites pas à l’utiliser et la partager. Bonne journée

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