Canned Sausages 1, Larry Miller 0

A desperately-hungry Larry eats a can of chicken vienna sausages from the Ace Broadcasting kitchen that may have been intended for ornamental purposes only.

Show Summary

The experience affected Larry on a profound emotional level. Was it positive or negative? Listen and find out! (It’s more entertaining than just inferring the answer from this description or the episode title.)

Larry’s love affair with his own theme song continues. The show gets its first sponsor. No, it’s not the canned sausage company and no, it’s not the twelve step kind of sponsor either, smart guy.

We receive another update via telegram from the Royal Larry Miller Drinking Society in England. Larry also discusses trying to keep up with Brits when drinking.

Larry talks about his time spent at Drake’s Drum bar in New York City. He then tells about the benefits of drinking in hotel bars with the guy who actually OWNS the hotel.

And Larry finally answers the question, “Can you reach level five at home?” Also, whether or not you should even try.

Quote of the week:

    “Say, listen.”
    “Oh, yeah?”

Vocabulary builder:Biscuit-arsed — An expression of Scottish origin meaning extremely intoxicated or a state of extreme confusion.

This week’s episode is sponsored by It’s like Netflix, but for video games! Over 7,000 video game titles are available for all consoles including PS3, XBOX360 and Wii. Games delivered right to your door, including new releases. Free shipping both ways!

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Show Credits

Executive Producer: Donny Misraje
Producer: Jeff Fox
Audio Engineer: Chris Laxamana
Show Summary: Matt Fondiler
Web Engineer: Sandy Ganz

Poets’ Corner

The poem Drake’s Drum by Henry Newbolt, as mentioned by Larry in this episode:

Drake he’s in his hammock an’ a thousand mile away,
(Capten, art tha sleepin’ there below?),
Slung atween the round shot in Nombre Dios Bay,
An’ dreamin’ arl the time o’ Plymouth Hoe.
Yarnder lumes the Island, yarnder lie the ships,
Wi’ sailor lads a dancin’ heel-an’-toe,
An’ the shore-lights flashin’, an’ the night-tide dashin’,
He sees et arl so plainly as he saw et long ago.

Drake he was a Devon man, an’ ruled the Devon seas,
(Capten, art tha sleepin’ there below?),
Rovin’ tho’ his death fell, he went wi’ heart at ease,
An’ dreamin’ arl the time o’ Plymouth Hoe.
“Take my drum to England, hang et by the shore,
Strike et when your powder’s runnin’ low;
If the Dons sight Devon, I’ll quit the port o’ Heaven,
An’ drum them up the Channel as we drummed them long ago.”

Drake he’s in his hammock till the great Armadas come,
(Capten, art tha sleepin’ there below?),
Slung atween the round shot, listenin’ for the drum,
An’ dreamin’ arl the time o’ Plymouth Hoe.

Call him on the deep sea, call him up the Sound,
Call him when ye sail to meet the foe;
Where the old trade’s plyin’ an’ the old flag flyin’
They shall find him ware an’ wakin’, as they found him long ago!


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23 Responses to “Canned Sausages 1, Larry Miller 0”

  1. Flatulator
    2011/02/23 at 6:51 pm #

    You call that diarrhea?

    • DDT
      2011/02/26 at 12:28 pm #

      There are five levels of the runs …

  2. Proppy
    2011/02/23 at 8:15 pm #


  3. SteveP
    2011/02/23 at 8:24 pm #

    I know you love your drinking, but could you please tell more stories which aren’t directly drinking related. I really liked the one about baseball or the prostitute, those were great.

  4. MatthewM
    2011/02/23 at 10:19 pm #

    Larry, Did you ever work with Bob Hope? No reason for asking, just wondered.

  5. John J Kenney
    2011/02/23 at 11:07 pm #

    Larry your show rocks. Have you thought about making your show longer and including guests with cocktails?

  6. Jim N
    2011/02/24 at 3:46 am #

    Larry, I love you and the show. Please make the shows longer. It feels like you are ending it before it ever gets rolling. Don’t stop telling your recent drinking stories… but follow them with something else too.

  7. Max Girth
    2011/02/24 at 6:00 am #

    I’ve never understood why Larry is limited to ½ hour. Since he is unpaid for this and his hourly rate is $0.00 Ace Broadcasting won’t go too far in the hole if they extend Larry’s hours.

    (HINT) If you look back in history, the laborers who built the Pyramids didn’t really have a strong labor union, long lunches, overtime after 8 hours, etc…

    Come to think of it, at Larry’s hourly rate you could pay him double-time for Minutes 31-60.

  8. Jacki
    2011/02/24 at 12:06 pm #

    “pee ess three”. Love it!

  9. TS
    2011/02/25 at 2:28 am #

    Congrats on your victory in the “Gaywalking” game on Carolla’s podcast. Let nobody say that you haven’t paid your dues.

  10. JayCeezy
    2011/02/26 at 4:15 pm #

    “Larry Miller, Founder”

    Larry, I am already reaping the benefits of LMDS membership.

    “Nominum quid geminus!”

  11. Kat
    2011/02/27 at 12:34 am #

    It’s an odd thing. This podcast is probably the least “funny” comedy podcast that I listen to throughout the week, yet it is simultaneously probably the most enjoyable overall.

  12. Mike Berry
    2011/02/27 at 8:14 pm #

    You are technically undefeated on HRTG. The pod is great. Tanks.

  13. Mike Berry
    2011/02/27 at 8:15 pm #

    The show is great. Thanks.

  14. J.J.
    2011/02/27 at 11:32 pm #

    Larry – The Vienna sausage story with its “gay moment” culmination was like one of those moments in sports where a perennial All-Star makes a tremendous, mind-blowing play to win a game and you are reminded, “Oh yeah, I’ve grown accustomed to that guy being a great player, but oh my God, THAT play. . . THAT’s why THAT guy is one of the greatest in the game.” Awesome and hilarious. Loved it. Love the podcast. Thanks for bringing it.

  15. DJ Rufio
    2011/02/28 at 3:13 am #

    Larry doing an ad for Gamefly has to be the funniest thing I’ve heard this week

  16. Vile
    2011/02/28 at 11:14 am #

    …That takes me back to the “mystery meat” days in the fridge! No mystery tin foil, just booze and butter now. I’ve come a long way baby!
    Hope you had a good time in 1000Oaks this weekend. Looking forward to a LMS closer to civilization soon!

  17. Andy90
    2011/03/01 at 9:42 am #

    Scotsman here. It’s pronounced Edinbur-uh. ‘Edinburg’ is never right.

    By the way, “Walked out of bed” always bumps me. Reminds me of (Northern Irish politician) Ian Paisley’s pronouncement: “We will not stand idly by and be murdered in our beds.” Shouldn’t it be “Got out of bed”?

    Great show as always.

  18. Michael
    2011/03/02 at 10:00 am #

    Larry the show is great and I hope it is extended. I know it was Libby’s vienna sausages were the brand you had. Those aren’t the worst Hormell are. Next time try armour and not the chicken. Can’t promise you’ll like them but they are better. Keep up the great work. All your stories have been great thus far.

  19. Landon Whitton
    2011/03/02 at 11:44 am #

    Love this show!! I know you have listeners all over the world. But I wonder how many listeners you have in my exotic home state of Mississippi.
    I appreciate your passion for drinking.. some may accuse you of being long-winded but I request that you please extend the length of your wind an extra half hour!

  20. theMisterLister
    2011/03/07 at 8:09 pm #

    i believe i know the genesis of the vienna sausages…

    the big 3 podcast’s Scary Perry was being bullied into eating cans of them on his birthday in something which was like competitive eating, though perhaps a bit less refined. #November2010

    • lmcast
      2011/03/08 at 3:21 pm #

      So, that’s where those sausages came from! Nice catch, Mr. Lister!

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